Last month we saw Gary lose the shoot-off because he engaged – moved his attention at precisely the wrong moment – to a distraction Gary claims Ed caused. Actually, you could say Ed caused it. But, had Gary not engaged – not turned around and looked at Ed – there would have been no distraction. That Gary did turn around and engaged Ed's actions – the distraction (and his miss) belongs solely to Gary, not Ed. It wasn't a distraction until Gary turned, looked and engaged. The ONLY person who was distracted was Gary – not Ed – not the Trapper – not the spectators – no one on the planet – just Gary.

ACCEPT → REJECT ENGAGING

Here's an example of choosing, engage or accept. It's August and 101 degrees at the gun club. I started preparing for my lessons at 7:30 this morning and it's now 4:55. I'm cooked and exhausted as I climb into my truck. 5 minutes from home, Cheryl calls. "Be a sweetie and pick up some milk please." OK. I circle the huge parking lot looking for a space – any space which I eventually find in a distant corner of the lot. I consider climbing into this abandoned cart and hoping someone will pity me and push me to the store. Maybe for money? Doubting anyone would notice, I walk. Have I mentioned the heat?

I'm only here for milk so I skip the cart thing. You'd think the milk would be in the front of the store. Oh no. It's in the far back corner of the Mega Giant Super Store. Customers hire Guides to find it. Gallon of milk in hand, I start the trek back to the distant cashier, which I discover I can't see because that's how long the line is. The shortest line BTW.

Willing the line to move faster, I notice my left arm is growing longer so I shift the milk to my right hand, hoping it won't go out of date before I can leave the store. At last, a mere 20 minutes later, I'm next in line. The elderly lady in front of me is buying 1 Coke and 1 small bag of pretzels. That would be 2 items. Two. 2. Rummaging through her purse – no, it's not for change – it's for – are you ready – her checkbook. OK............ The check is written and handed to the Cashier who promptly leaves her station! What? So we wait. Here she comes, holding it over her head victoriously, the check for $1.84 has been approved.

Finally, I'm up. Nope. Mildred and the Cashier know each other. Chit chat – here comes the picture of 7 month old bald Nathan. Isn't he sweet? I breathe slowly. Shift my hold on the milk. Why hasn't Mildred noticed my thoughts?

Definitely no engaging going on here, right? The question not being asked is this. As there's been no one behind me in line, is there 1 single person in this store – anywhere – who is thinking or feeling what I have for the last 20 minutes? No, there isn't. The distraction – the frustration – isn't the store, the line, the wait, Mildred or the cashier. It's me. At least it used to be. Until I learned to accept. Now when I get behind a Mildred and feel the tension – hear the voices – I chuckle. Sometimes out loud. Maybe that's why people behind me move to another line

Learning to accept and not engage is a skill that's learned off the shooting ground, not on the course. It's learned on the highway in rush hour traffic; in the office when events don't meet our expectations; and at home when patience and forgiveness are in short supply.

Learning to recognize what we can and cannot control is key. What we cannot control – we accept. Then we can work with it and not allow it to control us.

Standing in the shooting box frustrated, possibly angry,..........STOP! Remember, losing our composure – engaging our frustration – is about to cost us targets. We can take care of this right now – or, looking up at the Master Score Board, wishing we had remembered earlier. Of course, realizing this at the end of the day won't help our score much.

Self-talk has been the ruin of many a good score. Acceptance skills eliminate 99% of the negative chatter. Acceptance skills are our EZ Pass onto the beltway around and avoiding frustrating annoyances, anger, disappointment and all the other negativity.

We can battle our way through the storm of distractions, or we can use our acceptance skills and skip the aggravation altogether. The good new is: it's a choice. But, to choose "acceptance," we have to learn the skill first.

Be safe and I hope to see you out on the course.